Best Beers for Summer

The editors at Esquire magazine have compiled an extremely short list of the best beers for summer. For example, if you like Corona, you should drink Goose Island's Summertime, and so forth. I like that Boulevard's Zon (Belgian White) is represented; I really only have two problems with this list: first, there are only 4 beers on this list, so kind of what's the point; and B, everyone knows the best beer for summer is the one that's closest. Far more offensive is this list of their top 10 canned beers, for those of us who plan on spending the summer tubing down a lazy river–offensive because they refer to Genesee Cream Ale as "thick but flat, bitter but creamy," disgusting and (inexplicably) nostalgic. I have not experienced Genesee in a can, but the bottled version is decent, and M&B Cream Ale is super-delicious and refreshing, so to sum up, the Chardonnay-swilling boobs at Esquire can shove it.

Pizza + Beer = Pizza Beer?

It's true, and horrifying: these people actually put a whole pizza into the mash, let it ferment and bottled it. And who knows? Maybe it's good (though I sincerely doubt it). My biggest issue is that they left out all the meat, which for me is like kissing your sister. If you're going to put a pizza into a bottle of beer, have the decency to include some sausage or something. In any case, it sounds disgusting, but I'd be happy to hear from y'all with dissenting views. (Hat tip to Ashley B for the link—Ash, I owe you a pizza beer).

Better a do-nothing congress than a BREW-nothing congress

The economy is in the toilet and thousands of gallons of sweet crude are gushing into the gulf as I type this, but all is not lost. Colorado representative Betsy Markey is at least doing SOMETHING productive by sponsoring HR 1297, recognizing the ideals and goals of American Craft Beer week (which we're smack-dab in the middle of right now, people, May 17-23). A chicken in every pot is no substitute for a craft beer in every hand. My only disappointment is that, given the zillions of great beers she could have referenced, she only made mention of Skinny Dip by New Belgium Brewing Company, possibly the most macro of microbreweries. It's as ridiculous as a president holding a "beer summit" at the White House and drinking a Bud Light.

I Have Seen My Future…

…And it involves brewing in the basement of the old folks home. This is actually a pretty cool story about how a bunch of Depression-era guys are reliving their old moonshinin' days by brewing beer at their retirement home.

Take THAT, winos!

This article, from my old hometown's birdcage liner of record, the Quad-City Times, confirms what I've always known: beer is good for you! Well, no worse than any alcoholic drink, anyway, and better than wine in terms of imparting Vitamin B and protein, while still providing the heart-disease kryptonite. That's assuming you stick to one a day, so, nuts. Oh well, that's the science and I'm sticking to it. I will notify you, faithful readers, when the "Funyuns are good for you" article hits the presses.